Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Wanting a Worry Stick

We come to earth to do one thing.

Have a body.

And of course to get this body we have to be born. Some of us are lucky enough to come into this world to a loving family with a Father and a Mother.

Some of those Father's and Mother's are ready... waiting... wanting...
Others are taken by surprise. All in all at some point or another we each have the desire to become one of them.

My sister is no exception.

As Robbie and I decided to start "trying" for baby number two, I found out my sister Lisa wanted to start for their number one. It was such a thrill to think of us sisters being pregnant together... having our kids grow up together... share all those fun and crazy child rearing moments together.

But Heavenly Father had a different plan in mind.

I feel selfish now thinking it took some time to get pregnant with Tenley. My sister has been going through the "trying" roller-coaster to say the least. It's all she wants. A baby of her own.

Yesterday I came across a few posts on some wonderful blogs that reminded me just how challenging and rewarding motherhood can be. Once that precious babe is starting to form, we are handed what my mom would call a "worry stick."

I've got two worry sticks, and my mom has four. Once you are given a worry stick, it is yours forever....
It all begins by worrying about your pregnancy. "Is the baby growing, am I drinking enough water, did I take my pre-natal."
Then it goes into kicking reassurance... "I wasn't paying attention to the baby moving, what if something's wrong!"
But it doesn't stop there... oh no, that's just the beginning. You worry about labor, then if the baby has all ten fingers and toes, then feedings, and sids. After awhile it turns into new worries... "Why isn't my baby sleeping through the night? What if she has an ear infection?" and so on and so forth.

You'd think you'd be done carrying the stick once the child leaves home, heads off to college, or gets married.
Wrong! Think again.
My mom has plenty of worries infested in her worry sticks. P-L-E-N-T-Y.

As of this moment, my worry stick's are somewhat easy to carry around. I get to keep my children at home safe beside me to nurture and love. My main worry is what the heck am I going to do with them today so we aren't completely bored, with a side of getting Taryn to eat, and making sure Tenley isn't eating choke-able items.

At times when I feel frustrated and begin to lose my patience I remember my sweet sister and just how much she'd give for these moments. She wants to feel nauseous and tired and completely drained in pregnancy. She wants to wake up at all hours of the night to hold a newborn babe and nurse them back to sleep.
She is begging for a worry stick.... and I am praying hard for her to get one soon.
Now, it's not like Lisa is this old maid and her time is limited. Time is on her side, but that does not make waiting any easier.

I love my sister and all the fun times we have had together. I love our similarities, and our differences. I love that we look so much alike. I know her babies will come soon. I know once they are here she will understand why she needed to wait and go through this period of time. Life is hard, life is unpredictable, but life is beautiful in every season.

I love you Lisa. I am here for you as we wait for your season of motherhood to begin.

Brett and Lisa summer of '09


Mary said...

I'm speechless. How I love every single one of my worry sticks. All 8 of them, Shawna, Robbie, Taryn and Tenley, Lisa and Brett, Taylor and Amy along with all the special ones still in Heaven. Thank you sweet Shawna. My first born. I am so blessed to have you. ♥

ericksonslc said...

Beautiful! You are a wonderful writer and I love how you share yourself and your thoughts with us! I love you and your sister so much and am also praying for her little children to start on their way! Love you!!

Ang said...

Trying to start your family can be so hard! It will happen but it's hard to remember that sometimes while you want it so bad. Have her email me if she ever wants someone to talk to!

Jared and Reini said...


What a great post... motherhood described perfectly. I'm not sure if your sister would even remember me, but let her know that she is not alone. After years of trying, doing infertility treatments, miscarring in the fall, my husband I are finally going to bring a baby into this world in August. My heart reaches out to your sister... I understand the pain, devestation, frustration, and longing that she is experiencing. If she ever needs to talk, I am here.

By the way, your little family is darling!

Love Reini Butterfield (Davis)

Pennie said...

What a beautiful post! For some reason I have so many friends- (including your mom, and my sister Karen) who had to wait for, what seemed like 'forever' until they recieved their beautiful children. My heart hurts for Lisa, and for you... because I know how much you wish for her. My love and prayers to both of you! xox

AmberLou said...

Shawna... I know I've said it before... but you have such a way with words and this post is no exception! I feel for cute Lisa and I know how she feels! It always seems like everyone else in the world is pregnant when you are not. Just tell her to enjoy every single moment that she has with Brett! Those moments change so much once the little bundles arrive... being able to go anywhere, anytime or do anything, anytime, anywhere! Tell her that Heavenly Father always has a plan and babies will come to the earth when they are supposed to... they always do! :) I always love seeing the updates on your blog. It looks like you are having fun in your new place... i love playgroups! It also looks like you are having wonderful weather... I'm jealous... it is still kinda cold here!