Saturday, December 17, 2011

a Tenley update

Ok - sorry there are no pictures!  I left my camera at the hospital, and I haven't downloaded any for awhile.  They will come, I promise!

So it has now been 12 days since we started round two.  Tenley has been doing so great!  She really came back with much more gusto and personality.  So much that she took a dive, literally, out of her crib one day.  

The first day back my mom and I got to work making her room cozy.  All the while, Tenley just sat in her crib, laid back on a pillow, ate some doritos, and watched a show.  It was like... Ok, here we are again, let's just get it all started!

So we did... that evening the chemo began.  We finished chemo this past Monday (December 12th) and she sailed through without any issues!  No throw ups, no fevers, just a few whines when getting vitals - which included eyedrops, but other than that she was golden.

A few days ago she started to get a pretty sore bottom.  Thankfully we had a super genius nurse named Dave who switched her normal baby wipes for some damp cotton pads with some special cream to spray on it... after using those plus the diaper rash cream, her bottom is back to baby soft happy bum cheeks!

Slowly she has been losing her appetite.  Last week she had a blast sitting in her own high chair eating on her own... she even figured out how to use a fork, and stabbed chicken nuggets over and over again one afternoon, eating them one by one.

Today... not so much.

Today was a big change, actually it started more last night.  My mother in law was with her throughout the evening, and I got to the hospital around 9:45.  Tenley looked really tired and ready for bed.  All she would eat that evening was popcicles.  I got the room ready for bed, and around 10:30 was ready to rock her to sleep with a bottle.

No way josé was she taking that bottle.

Ok - so I figured I'd just rock her for a bit, and then she'd doze right to lala land.

Um, ya... not happening either.

Finally around midnight I decided her mouth must be bothering her.  I knew she was so sleepy, but she just could not give into sleep.  I had the nurse give her some morphine, and thankfully she dozed off soon after.

BUT - this little girl is a trickster.  Just when you think she couldn't possibly be more sound asleep, and you try to make the switch from the rocking chair to her crib, she grabs at you like a monkey and cries as if she was faking it the whole time.

I rocked her from 10:30pm - 1:30am

Now don't get me wrong... I love to snuggle this girl, but those rocking chairs are not the most comfortable, and I was getting anxious and tired.  Really emotional, mind racing, crazy person tired.  Finally at 1:30 I got her squealing monkey grabbing self to lay down while I hovered over her, still holding her tight.  Slowly I had to pull away, and I made it into my own non-bed.

5 o'clock came in a blink of an eye and the nurse tapped me and said Tenley was running a fever... which required them to change her claves (on her tubes from her chest) and some blood cultures done, and yadda yadda I couldn't think straight so who knows what else they had to do.

After all that and rocking Tenley back to her "deep sleep" the whole process began again... but this time I was never able to fully get her back into the crib.

I rocked her from 5am - 8:45am

Thankfully a wonderful gal came to relieve me, on her one year wedding anniversary as well.  ANGEL!

I took that break, headed home (to my mom's) stopped by her ward Christmas party to be with Taryn, and then made the drive back up there.  Taryn came along and we brought a cute poster with a collage of pictures of Tenley, our family, our old life.

As we walked into the room Taryn ran up to her, and then gently kissed Tenley and ran her hand across her face.  She understood that Tenley was not at her best, and needed soft quiet loves.  She kissed her over and over and whispered I love you Tenley... then she showed her the poster and Tenley loved looking at it, pointing her finger at everything.
Watching my girls together is always my favorite.

My mom was with her at this point, and after she left, Taryn wanted to head to the kids playroom...  Thankfully she absolutely LOVES going there and has no fear whatsoever going with whatever volunteer comes to get her.  She stayed there for 3 hours today playing.

During those 3 hours... guess what I was doing.


Total rocking time = 9 hours and 45 minutes in a 19 hour time frame.
When I am a bajillionaire, I am buying that hospital some awesome luxury rocking chairs and amazing pull out chair beds.

Or maybe I'll try to invent some, yes... that would be the best idea, then I could pay off all these hospital bills!


Devrie Pettit said...

Can you take your own rocking chair? If you can, you can borrow ours! It is super comfy and we hardly use right now. It has a little ottoman and everything! You are such a good mom!

Allison and Josh said...

You sure didn't look like you had very little sleep when I saw you yesterday. You always look beautiful. You are such an amazing mom and a wonderful person and friend. Love you!

Abe and Lisa said...

It was great seeing you the other day. You are a wonder woman. Call or text if you need anything at all!!

carolynnjoy said...

Do you have a pay pal account set up? We don't have a lot, but when my Mom had cancer, people donated money and so she was able to take the year off of work to take care of herself. We'd love to make a small donation towards the medical bills. It will truly be the widows mite, but maybe a multi-millionaire will drop by and give even more.

Piano Mom said...

Shawna, I just finally read this post and I'm so sorry about those sleepless nights. It was the same with Erin, we didn't have her in the crib though, just a hospital bed. I used to just crawl into the bed with her and we'd sleep together all night long. Those long nights of cuddling together still pull at my heart because it's during those times that we as cancer moms sacrifice the most. Rocking/snuggling our fighting cuties. We love you guys. It was wonderful to meet Tenley, she is absolutely sweet.