Trials never go away.
They change as we age and enter new season's of life... but they never stop challenging us.
Today I sit and wonder why.
I wonder why Tenley got leukemia. Is it something she would have been given no matter what? Just one of the cards she picked in heaven?
I wonder why a strong little 6 year old girl would find the finish line of cancer, only to learn that not even one week later she'd be starting a brand new race through it?
I wonder why my sister who has a wonderful husband, a beautiful house, a room just waiting to be her babies.... why oh why can't her baby just be?
Life does not make sense sometimes.
I do know this....
"Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not to thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him and he shall direct thy paths." - Proverbs 3:5&6
A couple of months ago I went to a missionary homecoming. He read this scripture and it clicked with me in a way I had never thought through before.
We cannot try to understand. We cannot make sense of why things are the way they are. As long as we acknowledge our father in heaven, our hearts will be softened and the confusion this earthly life brings will melt into faith that He knows our path.
I was utterly shocked to find out I was pregnant. You can only imagine the greater shock that came with learning it was twins. Immediately I went into anxiety mode. Worrying about how in the world we will function with two babies. Two car seats. Two newborn mouths to feed. Two sets of diapers. Two wee ones to constantly worry about. When will I ever sleep through the night again? How will I ever find the time to give everyone the attention they need? What in the world will we do to pay for all of this?
Only Heavenly Father knows our path and as long as we follow His word, the rest will fall into place.
If things in your life right now seem simple, kind of routine, and almost boring...
count your lucky stars and be grateful for those boring breaths.
I had them once not too long ago.
So as trials come and go, and we get to take a breath of fresh air every now and again.... never ever forget to give thanks to the one directing all of our paths.